Helping a Sister

I won't lie. Sometimes I'm really annoyed waiting in a long line to purchase a single item at a store.


Today I was witness to this exact predicament playing out in the finest way possible. Enter "Woman A," we'll call her Sally. Sally is an older woman, next in the line at Costco with a shopping cart full of items to purchase. Enter April. April is behind Sally waiting to purchase two items. Enter "Woman B," we'll call her Peggy. Peggy is another older woman, has one item, and is behind April.


First, Sally doesn't empty her shopping cart. When the cashier asks April who the cart belongs to, April directs him to Sally. This is Sally's cart. Cashier looks at Sally, Cashier looks at April, and Cashier and April empty Sally's cart onto the belt.


Then Cashier asks Sally for her membership card. Sally can't find her membership card. She digs around her purse for a moment, looks up and sees Peggy. Sally says to Peggy, "You only have 1 item? Go ahead." Sally looks at Cashier and says, "Ring her up."


Cashier looks at April then looks at Sally and says, "She's next in line," pointing to April. April looks at Cashier and says, "Go ahead."


Cashier rings up Peggy. Peggy thanks Sally. Sally wishes Peggy a Happy Thanksgiving. Peggy leaves.


Sally finds her membership card. Cashier rings up Sally. Sally slowly pays her transaction, carefully counting out her bills, then after paying decides she doesn't want her chicken. Sally hands the chicken to Cashier. Cashier tells Sally that unfortunately her transaction is closed and she has to go to the customer service desk for help. Sally slightly bickers and walks away.


Cashier rings up April's two items. April pays. Cashier shakes April's hand and says, "Thank you for being patient. Happy Thanksgiving."


Sally had a sisterhood with Peggy. Peggy and her one item made it out in a flash. And, neither April nor Cashier, no matter what was said or done, could have interfered with this act of service from Sally.


Some battles just shouldn't be fought. And, if you're in the checkout line with a lot of items, think about the person behind you that might just have one.

Your future on a flash drive: a day volunteering at 826 LA

By Kristin Friedersdorf, 365 Days of Service, LA Chapter

A few days before Thanksgiving, families hustled to arrange last minute turkey
preparations, the TV news buzzed with turducken and pumpple segments,
struggling Americans lined up to receive charity groceries, and high school
seniors toiled away on the finishing touches of their college applications.
With the deadline for UC schools looming, nonprofit 826 LA has led a series
of tutoring days specifically to help high school seniors write their personal
statements. 826 LA is part of a larger nonprofit called 826 National, a network of
centers across different U.S. cities that help students ages 6-18 with expository
and creative writing. 826 LA has two locations in Los Angeles (one in Venice
and one in Echo Park), both serving students from our local public schools. A big
part of the 826 philosophy is that the one-on-one attention these students receive
can help facilitate “great leaps in learning.”

According to the organization’s blog, over 80 students attended a recent “Great
Los Angeles Personal Statement Day” event, where college hopefuls were
paired one-on-one with tutors in the intimidating quest to show admissions
committees “who they are” through two essay prompts. While I missed the big
event, I was able to sign up to volunteer during another evening they set aside
for personal statement help.

Like many readers, I remember finding out about 826 LA through the Dave
Eggers connection several years ago. The famous writer is a founder of the
original tutoring center in San Francisco and remains an advocate for public
schools. A powerful quote from Eggers calls individuals to engage with their
local communities by giving support to students in need: “Some kids don’t
know how good they are, how smart and how much they have to say. You
can tell them. You can shine that light on them one human interaction at a
time.” Ultimately, I was drawn to volunteer at 826 because of this philosophy.
These programs create an environment where kids are free to be wildly
imaginative and discover their inner creativity. Beyond a place to learn, 826
is a place that empowers kids and lets them speak their voices. Among other
dynamic programs, 826 centers engage entire classrooms in book publishing
collaborations where students can see their own work in print.

826 services are offered to local students for free, programs which include
everything from drop-in after school tutoring to special workshops, such as the
comic book making workshop I once volunteered at. To add to the inviting nature
of the centers, each location is accompanied by a cleverly themed retail store
that sells products to benefit the program. In Echo Park, you can shop at a time-
travel themed mart that includes items like faux facial hair “through the ages”
and bottled scents that include varieties such as “cavemen” and “gold rush.” In
San Francisco, you can shop at a pirate store, while in Brooklyn you can take
care of all of your superhero supply needs in one convenient stop. And all of this
demonstrates that when it comes to creativity, 826 practices what they preach, a
phenomenon that Good magazine describes as their “total commitment to design
and branding.”

After experiences participating in a few of 826 LA’s weekend workshops, I was
itching to get back and volunteer. The personal statement tutoring sessions
seemed like the perfect opportunity and I had a weekday off from work that
luckily coincided with the 826 schedule. So on a recent Monday, I found myself
across the table from a bright, ambitious member of the Venice High senior
class. Still undecided, she’s thinking of studying medicine, or maybe business.
Her work ethic, however, is solidly in place. We worked together for almost 4
hours on her two personal statements, reading and re-reading each sentence
together. After an entire school day, this student showed true dedication by
working non-stop on this endeavor for over three hours on her zillionth draft.
One challenge in this situation was trying to help her effectively transform
thoughts and ideas about how to convey her personal story into actual words on
the page. I was very conscious of helping her voice shine without inserting my
own. But beyond writing mechanics, these sessions also offer the opportunity
for an extra dose of encouragement during the notoriously daunting admissions
process. As someone who has lost frustrating amounts of sleep in the past due
to underperforming on standardized tests, it felt like fate that I was paired with a
student with her own SAT woes. I tried to reassure her when the dreaded SAT
score topic came up by letting her know that I could relate. “I didn’t do that well
on the SAT’s either, and I went to college and did great. You’re going to be just
fine.” I could tell what a hard worker she is, so I know this is honest advice.
What’s amazing about working one on one with a student is that right before
your eyes, there is a human being just bursting with potential. And at 826, you
can look around the room at the other students and tutors, and before you is
an entire room bursting with potential. The energy in these tutoring centers is
full of hope, fueled by the simple act of people believing in one another. With
the deadline in a matter of days, I overheard that the tutoring center’s schedule
for Tuesday was filling up with other students who craved some finishing touch
revisions and general reassurance.

“Are you going to be back tomorrow?” my student asked towards the end of
our session. I wanted to say yes, but I had to go back to work the next day.
So around 6 pm we parted ways and shook hands. She thanked me, and I
wished her good luck. The magic of 826 is that you have the powerful role of
encouraging kids and young adults that their dreams are totally in the realm of
the possible. Since a college education opens so many doors, this volunteer
experience had particular weight as we edited potentially future-altering
documents. At that moment in time, I knew that it felt to her like her entire future
was resting on the contents of her flash drive. This student was influenced by
many individuals, teachers, and tutors in composing the various drafts of her
statements—and for a few hours I was a small part of this team.

Naturally, I now feel the suspense of the college admissions waiting game
just by extension of this young woman. I’ve wondered many times since that
day how everything will turn out for her. I even started thinking about the
college admissions process while watching a pre-Thanskgiving segment on the
morning news. Marcus Samuelson, acclaimed chef, was doing one of those
holiday pieces about how “easy” it is to prepare a turkey. While under normal
circumstances, he would have no trouble with a bird and its trimmings, this time
it was a battle of his hands versus the crisp New York fall weather. Ingredients
were blowing everywhere, butter was freezing to his shaking fingers as he tried
to rub the turkey, and his attempts to tie the bird together in place took more
than the usual amount of skillful persistence. Preparing this particular turkey
outdoors in a national news segment was a bit of a brutal process, but he got
through it despite the unpleasant obstacles. And while it won’t be easy, so too
will the students get through their college applications, and hopefully, find their
places at the next stage of their academic journey.

While I will probably never know the outcome of my student’s college journey, I
have high hopes for this Venice High senior. And as I learned from her personal
statements—details of which you’ll only be lucky enough to read if you’re on her
college admissions committee-- this is a girl who won’t give up.

------------
Author’s Note: If you’re interested, think about volunteering at an 826 location.
They currently have centers in LA, San Francisco, Seattle, Boston, Chicago,
DC, New York, and Michigan. It’s an easy and painless process to become a
volunteer! In fact, the 826 National video states that “We make it ridiculously
easy to volunteer. Once a tutor is trained, any hours they can give make a
difference. Maybe it’s only two hours a month, but those two hours working
shoulder to shoulder with a given student will make a world of difference.”

Small Gestures

By Janice Sakuma, 365 Days of Service, Maui Chapter

So a person that works in the same building as me got sick. What seemed like a bout of the flu quickly got diagnosed as something that would turn his world upside down. This person was someone in the breakroom during coffee. Occasionally shared a table at lunch. While we never socialized outside of the building, we were bound by similar values, a sense of humor, and a 15 year working relationship.

I could not imagine such a drastic change - and made a resolution of sorts, as his illness was discovered at the New Year - to be the friend according to his needs. In the bustling world we live in, that's easier said than done. It's easy to have a week slip by without finding the time for a phone call.

Fast forward nine months. He finds himself in California. With his wife by his side, facing a 100 day hospital/village stay far away from family and friends. I asked daughter number two to give them a call. She visits, takes them for a drive. Another time, she'll have lunch with his wife. They never met as adults prior to this, yet have enough in common to instantly bond.

A year later, he finds himself on Oahu, again in a hospital. This time it's Thanksgiving day. Daughter number one is visiting a cousin in the same hospital, so she sticks her head in the door to say hello. Again, total strangers. She needs to introduce herself and explain who she is. Again there is enough of a common bond. What was intended as a 5 minute hello, goes on for 20 minutes. They laugh, they joke, they connect.

Small gestures go a long way. It doesn't have to be fancy or well planned. Spontaneous moments. That's what life is made of.

More Thanks for Thanksgiving

I love the idea. I'm in!

Today I watched my brother Craig and his wife Debbie open their home to their extended family for Thanksgiving dinner. Family members by relations and associations are all in attendance. Very generous act to extend welcoming embrace to so many.

Hope I can keep this up.

Posted by Unc Dan Anderson, 365 Days of Service, HI Region

Table of Toothbrushes

I was fortunate to take part in the Westside Thanksgiving Celebration an inter-faith group that hosts one of the largest Thanksgiving Day events in Southern California. Last year over 2,100 meals were served by over 1,200 volunteers.  In addition to a hearty Thanksgiving meal, guests (students, low income families, seniors, and those who are homeless) receive hygiene kits, clothes, shoes, haircuts, blankets, basic medical consultation, and even have their portrait taken.


On Wednesday night, in preparation for Thursday's celebration, I went to the Santa Monica Civic Center to help set-up for the event. I was one of hundreds of volunteers. While there was much hustle and bustle in preparation for the celebration, I was placed in a group to help put together hygiene kits - at the table of toothbrushes to be exact. My job: individuals would walk through the different tables to collect items for the hygiene kits and I made sure they put one toothbrush in their bag. Toothbrushes were one item in a kit that included soap, shampoo, razors, deodorent, washclothes, toothpaste, socks, lotion, and brushes.


I knew this project was a very worthy one, but once the assembly line started I was struck by how much more meaningful it became. One individual said, "this kit is for a woman." Another came by and said, "this is a blue bag, I'd like a blue toothbrush." Two others passed by and with great joy cheered, "Round 4!" to celebrate embarking on assembling their fourth kit. Children of all ages were carefully making kits with their siblings and families. One little girl, no more than 3 years old, very carefully picked exactly which toothbrush she wanted the receiver of her kit to have. While, realistically, no one knew which individual would recieve the kit the next day, the personal care they added to assembling the kit was heartwarming. They weren't just making the kit to make a hygiene kit - they were making this kit for a woman, a child, a sister or a brother.


I was also fortunate to chat with the wonderful woman who coordinates volunteers for this event and who is also the person that makes rounds to the local schools and organizations who donate items for hygiene kits. Two stories she shared that gave me goosebumps. She says that year after year the lowest income schools always have the most donations. Without fail, these schools have hallways of boxes full of hygiene kit supplies. In one of these schools, she was approached by a little girl who handed her a pink blanket and asked that she be able to donate it to someone who would need it. She told that child that she'd save it for the perfect little girl that should receive this very special blanket. The next day, at the Westside Thanksgiving Celebration, this student, who so lovingly donated her blanket the day before, stood in line to receive her Thanksgiving meal with her family.


I'm very thankful for many things - one of those being the lessons that came from this table full of toothbrushes.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. For the past 10 years Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday because in addition to the wonderful spirit of thanks and giving, I’ve always found myself lovingly embraced by a family who has taken me in as one of their own. Good food, good friends, good family.

Now turn back the clock to Thanksgiving 2008. I found myself in the busy city of Los Angeles, far away from spending Thanksgiving with my family which, for whatever reason, seemed like the only Thanksgiving plan I really wanted that year. Thankfully, with 1 week and counting I was struck by the Thanksgiving plan for 2008: serve a Thanksgiving meal in a nearby shelter. Yes! Sign me up!

I frantically started making the phone calls and sending the emails… “May I please sign up to volunteer at your shelter on Thanksgiving?”  Time after time the response I received, “Thanks for your interest but we have no more available volunteer spaces…” followed by the line I grew to despise…”You know, Thanksgiving isn’t the only opportunity to volunteer…”  Yes, yes, I understand that Thanksgiving is not the only opportunity to volunteer. Don’t you know that I’m not the person that only volunteers on Thanksgiving but it happens that this year in particular I really want to volunteer on Thanksgiving? Please?

Needless to say, I was too late. No one would take me in. All I wanted to do was serve meals to those who would receive them on Thanksgiving. While grateful that so many organizations were not in need of volunteers this Thanksgiving, I couldn’t help but feel like I wanted to be a part of something and there was no room for me.

If shelters won’t have me, then I’ll have to do it on my own.

Enter Plan B. If I’m not able to volunteer at a shelter then I’ll cook up meals and deliver them myself.  A wonderful plan that I instantly loved! On the menu, a classic Hawaiian-style meal: shoyu chicken, rice, potato mac salad.  If I’m going to do this, I want to add my own flavor. And don’t forget the bottle of water and the chocolate-haupia dessert on the side. Dee-lish! My lovely Pelham place apartment became kitchen extraordinaire for 8 hours. And, luckily, half-way through, another LA transplant friend, Ian, came over to help the cause. Together we cooked and crafted 30 meals to deliver. Load the car, let’s go!

We drove the streets of Santa Monica and walked the pier. If we saw someone who might want a meal we stopped to say hello and offer them a Thanksgiving dinner. Many accepted with thanks. “Thank you,” they said, “Can I keep the Tupperware?” or “May I have an extra bottle of water?” or “I’ve eaten today but may I save it for tomorrow?” and all were followed by a “Happy Thanksgiving.” One and all, Happy Thanksgiving.

Of all the giving, what struck me most about this experience was that some people said “no.” What an opportunity. The opportunity to say, “No, thank you.” I wondered what that might feel like to be able to say, “No, thank you. I’ve eaten today,” or just plain, “no.” Does that opportunity present itself a lot… to be able to refuse what someone might want to offer to help? What a humbling experience.

That was Thanksgiving 2008, when the tradition where I gather with friends to “cook and deliver” was born. And, I hope that this example embodies what I hope for this blog… being called to serve, seeking out volunteer opportunities, creating acts of service when the opportunity presents itself, and continuing the tradition. And, similar to that Thanksgiving – I hope this humble attempt turns out to be an experience greater than I could imagine.   

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!